Hello there, my lovely followers, I’m Nicole. Before I begin, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to click on this link and hopefully read through it. I’m sixteen years, a sophomore in a high school that I’m tired of. I’ve pretty much outgrown the town I’ve grown up in all my life, and I cannot wait to go off to college and hopefully travel the world someday. My biggest conflict in life would have to be my maturity vs. my lack of experience. I’ve been told that I’m an old soul and that I’m very mature for my age. I believe that wholeheartedly; I feel much older than sixteen. I know a lot about human sentiments and how the world really works considering my age, but my lack of experience holds me back. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and I haven’t even had my first kiss yet (update: first kiss-March 5, 2013). Thankfully, I haven’t reached the age where I can literally hear the clock ticking on my love life. This lack of experience brings out the teenage girl in me, which is really an inconvenience most of the time, since I usually prefer the company of people older than me.
One thing to know about me is that I’m always laughing and smiling, and I try to be as kind as I can to the people around me Even though I’m probably one of the unhappiest people you’ll ever meet, I know how to count my blessings and be thankful for all I have; a loving family, an amazing sister, and an incredible close group of friends.
Even thought I try to be as optimistic and positive as I can, paranoia about what people say and think about me definitely hits home. I was bullied verbally and emotionally throughout elementary school; I was told that I was ugly and disgusting, that I was going to die alone with no one who cares about me, and that no one would want to waste their life on me. I didn’t have any true friends either. Since I was bullied at such a young age, most of the hurtful words have stayed with me. I have tried to get over it, and I’ve forgiven the people who made elementary school a living hell for me, but the voices in my head are louder than ever. I have to admit, I have a difficult time in letting people in, and accepting the fact that someone can actually like me, or would even want to have a committed relationship with me. After all these years I guess I’m still in the process of recovery, and that’s okay for me. It’s better to be growing day by day than to hold a grudge and be bitter for the rest of my life. I have definitely come out of my shell since elementary school, and I’m starting to let people see more of who I really am, which I do admit feels good. Sometimes I still get caught up with the pressure to be perfect, but so does everyone at least once in his or her lifetime. I’m so happy that tumblr allows me to express these feelings that I either don’t want to, or have been too scared to, show them to someone else. I’m not that good at talking about my feelings either. Writing them down, in my experience, gets my feelings to sound more authentic and genuine.
http://andrewxaf.tumblr.com/ couldn’t have put it any better…
“Words can have a powerful impact on your mindset. Although we’ve all heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”, the fact is that words really do have an impact on how we feel. Often times, when things seem pointless, when you’ve just come face to face with yet another failure, it can seem as though it’s the end. It can seem as though no matter how hard you try, the life that you want will always be just out of reach. When it comes down to it, how you feel is really just about what you focus on. Who doesn’t go through failures, setbacks, and challenges? We all do. In fact, after you get through a challenging time, you will have many more to come in the future. Although that sounds pessimistic, it’s also reality. Those who succeed in life and get what they want as well as those who are the most happiest aren’t people who never face difficulties. If anything, they probably deal with more challenges than most people. The thing that makes them different is how they respond and react to those obstacles. Challenges and difficulties are a part of life. It’s easy to tell someone to hang in there and to keep a positive outlook when they are going through a tough time but when it happens to you, keeping your chin up isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Even so, it’s not impossible. There are a lot of things you can do to help you stand back up and move forward. Whether you’ve been dealt with a setback while working towards your goal, lost a loved one, or just feel down… Seek that individual who you feel comfortable with to help you out, or if you know someone in need of their spirits being lifted. Don’t hesitate.”
Other things you should know about me: I love art, I am part of the Art Honor’s Society at my high school, and art has been a part of my life for over ten years now. I love to read; one thing I love is getting lost in the setting of the novel. I love cooking and baking, and I think I’m pretty good at it; it’s definitely a hobby I will keep close to me for the rest of my life. I blow out my candles on January 9th. I am a huge movie junkie. Old fashioned, soppy romance is the way to my heart (if a guy ever wrote a song or poem about me, it’s basically a done deal). And lastly, the purpose of this blog is to express my feelings about love; some of it is what I would want in a relationship, or what I find absolutely romantic. And my playlist is made up of a lot of songs I love that also have to do with the theme of my blog.
If you read this far, then thank you so much :) I hope I didn’t put you to sleep
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